It’s October. The temperatures are finally beginning to change, sunlight hits at a different angle, football is on TV, and there is still a little breathing room before the calendar fills with holiday parties, school programs, shopping, travel, and everything else that gets squeezed into November and December.
Before the holiday season takes over, make a point of having some fun downtime with your kids.
Not the kind of fun that requires reservations, matching outfits, a perfectly planned itinerary, or spending a small fortune. The best family moments are often much simpler. They happen when we stop worrying about everything that needs to be done and enjoy being together.
Because sometimes, in the middle of the busyness of life, we forget how to
do that.
Just Us
There is something special about “just us” time.
It might be sitting on the porch after dinner, taking a walk around the neighborhood, piling into the same bed to watch a movie, or lingering around the kitchen table long after everyone has finished eating. It could be pancakes for dinner, a board game that gets a little too competitive, or a drive to look at Halloween decorations.
And here’s the important part: It doesn’t have to be an extravagant event.
As parents, we can fall into the trap of thinking family time has to be meaningful, educational, productive, or Instagram-worthy. We plan elaborate outings because we want our children to have wonderful memories. But children often remember the little things.
They remember staying up a little late. They remember everyone laughing so hard at the dinner table that nobody could talk. They remember snuggling up with the family pets to read.
Those ordinary moments are not interruptions to a busy family calendar. They are memories in the making.
Make Room for Fun
One of the best things about fall is that it practically invites us to slow down. The weather encourages us to spend more time outside, and there are plenty of inexpensive ways to enjoy the season together.
When you are filling the family calendar with everything that must get done, leave some room for the things that don’t. Pick a Saturday, Sunday, or even a few hours during the weekend and declare it “no plans allowed” time. Put away the phones and see what happens when nobody has somewhere to be.
Let the kids choose dinner and help make it. Build a blanket fort, share a ridiculously large ice cream sundae, or turn on some music and have a dance party in the kitchen.
When you want to get out of the house, keep it simple. Go on a family hike, visit a pumpkin patch, wander through a local farmers market, or collect colorful leaves. Have a backyard fire and make s’mores. Spend an afternoon watching football, complete with a bowl of chili.
Sometimes, no plans are exactly what a busy family needs.
Try Something New
Fall is also a great time to step outside your usual routine.
Visit a part of town you rarely explore. Let each family member choose an activity for a different weekend. They might surprise you. Learn a new game, start a puzzle, take a family hike on a new trail, or have a family arts and crafts night.
The point is not to become experts or create a perfect family tradition overnight. Sometimes, the fun is in trying something new together, laughing together, and discovering you enjoyed something you never expected to.
And if the plan doesn’t work out exactly as expected, that’s OK. Some of the best family stories begin with, “Remember that time we tried to …?”
Put the Phones Down
I know. I know. This is easier said than done.
Our phones are how we communicate, work, photograph our children, check schedules, order groceries, pay bills, answer emails, and occasionally figure out whether the thing our child just swallowed is something we should worry about.
But there are moments when we need to put them down.
When your child is telling you a long, winding story about something that happened at school, listen. When your teenager suddenly decides to talk, stop what you are doing and give them your attention. When you are sitting around the table with your family, be present.
Your children will not always be sitting at that table telling you about their day.
So, when you have the chance to put the phone down and be fully attentive, do it. Whatever is pulling at your attention can probably wait a few minutes.
Invite People In
“Family time” does not have to mean only the people who live under your roof.
Invite grandparents over for dinner. Ask the neighbors to join you for pizza around the backyard fire pit. Let your kids invite a friend over for the afternoon, or call a relative you have not talked to in a while.
There is something wonderful about opening our homes and sharing ordinary life with other people.
It does not have to be fancy. Tell everyone to bring something. Order takeout. Make soup and sandwiches. Put a stack of board games on the table and let the evening unfold.
The holidays will bring plenty of opportunities for formal gatherings, carefully planned meals, and packed calendars. Before all of that begins, enjoy the simple pleasure of getting together without feeling like you have to make an occasion of it.
The Magic of Ordinary
There is a tendency to believe that childhood memories are made during big vacations, elaborate birthday parties, and expensive experiences. And, of course, those things can be wonderful.
But most of childhood happens in the ordinary spaces in between.
It happens on Taco Tuesdays and during Friday night football. It happens at the kitchen table with homework spread everywhere, when someone tells a terrible joke and everyone laughs anyway, or when cereal becomes dinner because nobody feels like cooking.
It happens when the family dog steals someone’s sandwich and when your preteen wanders into the kitchen while you are making dinner and lingers for no reason.
These moments are easy to rush past because they do not feel particularly important in the moment. There is always another errand to run, another email to answer, and another thing to check off the list.
But there is something beautiful about slowing down long enough to notice the life happening right in front of you.
Not every moment needs to become an activity, a photograph, or a memory you intentionally create. Sometimes, the point is simply to be there for it.
Look at your kids. Really look at them. Notice how much they have grown since January. Listen to the way they laugh. Ask what they are excited about right now. Find out what they are watching, reading, listening to, or completely obsessed with this week. Let them talk longer than you think you have time for.
October gives us a little window before the end-of-year rush begins. Maybe we do not need to hurry through it.
As the main character says in the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “Life moves fast. If you don’t stop and look around occasionally, you could miss it.”
You cannot slow time down. But you can slow yourself down long enough to notice it.
And October is the perfect time to practice.
Tracie Seed has won numerous awards for writing, art, and design. She’s happiest while writing, sewing, painting, or spending time with family.
