Starting kindergarten marks a major milestone in your child’s life – and it can mark a major milestone in your life as well! The start of kindergarten will likely bring about feelings of excitement and anxiety as you and your child experience several firsts and learn to navigate a new environment and daily routine. Whether your child is your first to go to kindergarten or your last, each experience is different and can be somewhat overwhelming. To help everyone in the family feel a sense of control over these changes, it is helpful to understand what to expect and how to prepare and ultimately thrive during this time of transition.
What to Expect
Kindergarten is often the first extended, all-day separation between parent and child. It is a structured environment where your child will be expected to follow directions, sit still and listen, cooperate with his classmates, and do many tasks independently.
For parents, it can be an adjustment to adapt to a more rigid, required daily schedule and to hand over the care of their child to someone with less daily communication than they may have previously experienced. I remember feeling as though I had dropped my firstborn into a black hole. No longer was I walking her to the preschool classroom door and having a quick chat with her teacher. I would have to wait until the end of that first long day to reassure myself that she was all right.
Preparing Your Child
Your child does not need to know everything before school begins, but you can help him start the year off with a boost of confidence by working on some basic skills in advance at home.
Academic Skills
- Recognizing uppercase and lowercase letters and numbers 1–10
- Writing their name
- Knowing basic shapes and colors
- Social and emotional skills:
- Sharing and taking turns
- Resolving disagreements appropriately
- Using words to express feelings
- Separating from caregivers for increasing amounts of time
- Sitting relatively still and listening in a group setting – library story times are a great place to practice
- Asking for help
- Treating materials with respect
Independence Skills
- Opening lunch containers and snack bags
- Using the bathroom without assistance
- Buttoning buttons, zipping jackets, and putting on shoes
- Cleaning up snack messes and activity supplies when finished
Be sure to participate in all of the before-school activities that are scheduled. Attend any orientation days that are offered so that your child can begin to feel comfortable with his new classroom, and you will be able to picture him in his new setting when he is away from you. Taking time to meet the teacher in advance will help your child begin building trust, which will make drop-off easier for everyone.
As the start of school approaches, gradually help your child transition to going to bed earlier, waking up on time, and eating breakfast at the right time for his new school schedule. A good rule of thumb is to move bedtime and wake-up time up by 15 minutes per day until you are at your goal schedule.
Talk openly about school with your child so that he will know what to expect, encourage him to ask questions, and share his feelings. Check out books from the library about kindergarten and snuggle up on the couch to read together. They can be great conversation starters about what to expect in the classroom and how your child might be feeling. Also, if possible, set up playdates with friends who will attend kindergarten at the same school. Reconnecting with friends after the summer break can help your child start off school with the comfort of having a buddy in his classroom or on the playground.
Preparing Yourself Emotionally
Your child’s entrance into kindergarten is a rite of passage for you as well. Parents often feel a range of emotions – sadness that the baby years are “over,” worry that their child will be okay without them, excitement for more “me-time,” and more. Emotions are normal and valid, so let yourself feel whatever you feel without judgment or comparison.
Logistically
Consider the necessary changes to your family’s routine now that your child will be in school full-time and begin to establish the new routine in advance. You’ll want to include the following in your planning:
- A morning schedule that allows enough time to avoid rushing
Tip: Set out clothes the night before.
- A meal plan for healthy breakfasts, lunches, and snacks
Tip: Pack snacks and lunch the night before.
- A visual chart to help your child follow the morning and after-school routine as independently as possible
- A designated “school area” for backpack, lunchbox, shoes, and other supplies to avoid a morning hunt
First Day(s)
On the first day of school, be sure to keep your goodbye short and upbeat and talk positively about the fun things your child will do. Lingering too long can increase your child’s anxiety, but be sure to avoid sneaking away, which can also create stress. If the school allows, send your child with a small comfort item. Some kids cry for a few minutes but are fine once you leave. Your child’s teacher is a pro at dealing with nervous children.
Kindergarten is exhausting for many children, so expect mood swings, fatigue, and sometimes meltdowns after school for up to the first month. Your child is learning to self-regulate all day and may “save” his feelings for home. Avoid scheduling too many activities during the first month, offer a healthy snack and a snuggle right after school, build in extra downtime, and keep bedtime consistent to help your child adjust to the new demands of his day.
It is common to experience some bumps in the first few weeks or months, so if your child regresses behaviorally, shows signs of school anxiety, or struggles socially, don’t panic. Instead, reach out to your child’s teacher and the school counselor for input and advice. That said, kindergarten should be a gentle, nurturing introduction to school. If something feels off or you notice signs like persistent school refusal, emotional withdrawal, sleep or appetite changes, or significant academic struggles, advocate for your child early.
Kindergarten is the beginning of a new chapter, and like all new beginnings, it comes with a ‘learning curve’ for both parents and kids. But it’s also a chance to watch your child blossom, form new relationships, and learn more about his world. Be gentle with yourself and your child as you both navigate this new experience. Before you know it, you’ll be proud of how much you both have grown.
Alison Bogle is a writer living in Austin with her husband and three children. A former fourth grade teacher, she now enjoys writing about children and education. You can also catch her talking about articles from Austin Family magazine each Thursday morning on FOX 7 Austin.
