Dad’s Guide to Celebrating Mom and Step Mom

Q

My wife and I have a blended family. We each have kids from previous marriages and a child together. Our children range in age from 6 to 13. I want the children to do something special to honor my wife on Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day can be busy, stressful, and not very celebratory. Do you have any recommendations for ways dads can help kids honor moms and stepmoms?

A

Based on your question, you have at least five children, and life is busy.

Each child wants and needs their share of your attention, so be careful to include each child equally in the preparations for this special day. Here are some suggestions for you:

1. Call a family meeting of all your children sometime before the special day. If you want the children’s plans to be a surprise, tell them to keep the meeting and plans a secret. You could make the meeting attendance seem important by giving each child a written invitation. Call this meeting something that reflects their last names, for example: the Jones-Smith family meeting.
2. Divide the children into two teams. Ask each team to create ideas for what they want to do to make the day special for mom.
3. Give each child a piece of paper to brainstorm ideas for what to do for their moms and stepmoms on Mother’s Day. Ask the children to select the ideas they like best.
4. You could give the children chores to earn money so they can buy gifts, or it could be a gift from all the kids with everyone contributing.
5. Each of the children can make a Mother’s Day card with the supplies you provide.
6. You may want the kids to make a meal for their mom or stepmom. It does not need to be breakfast, although it could be. With the children’s input, create a menu. Decide what each child will contribute. Some kids can help you shop for food. Other children can take on preparation chores. The kids can make placemats, napkin rings, and other decorations.
7. In meetings with the children, suggest the idea of entertainment. Ask if they want to do something entertaining like sing or perform a play.

Remember to nurture the relationships with each of your children by spending time one-on-one. Learn as much as you can over time about each child. Fostering strong relationships means they will want to work on projects with you. You are a good dad/stepdad to encourage the kids to work together to create a special day for their moms. Every day in your family can be special when you put in the effort to make it special.

Betty Richardson, PhD, RN, CS, LPC, LMFT, is an Austin-based psychotherapist.