Q
My ex-wife Julie and I share equal custody of our two children—Violet, 9, and Weston, 11. We each have the kids for two weeks out of the month. We both care about their success and want their homework done well and turned in on time. But we handle it separately. What can we do together to make sure this happens?
A
When it comes to supporting kids with homework, divorced parents who share custody face unique challenges. But they are not alone—single parents and married couples often struggle with this, too. Whether your child is with you half the month or every day, managing homework consistently can make all the difference.
Experts recommend several strategies to create consistency and support learning across households and family structures.
First, if possible, try to follow the same daily homework schedule as your ex. Children thrive on routine, and knowing what to expect reduces stress and improves focus. For example, many parents give kids a snack after school, then dive into homework. Others allow a short playtime, or save homework until after dinner, using dessert as a motivator to finish.
If matching your ex’s schedule is not feasible, keep your own routine consistent each day. A predictable structure, regardless of your family type, helps children feel secure and perform better.
Parents should also show interest in their children’s assignments. Ask questions, read instructions, and stay engaged. If a task is unclear, reach out to the teacher. When your child doesn’t understand the assignment and you don’t either, they can’t complete it without outside help.
Be prepared with basic supplies such as sharpened pencils, pens, paper, paper clips, a stapler, and access to a computer. Some projects may require additional materials. One parent recalled helping their child collect newspapers from neighbors to make a papier-mâché project. Be ready to help gather unusual items like cardboard, clay, paint, or rocks when needed.
As children grow older, longer-term assignments become common. Teach your kids to inform you of projects as soon as they are assigned, and encourage them to start early. Waiting until the night before is a recipe for stress and incomplete work.
For co-parents sharing custody, communication is key. At the end of your parenting time, share with your ex what was completed, what your child learned, and any issues encountered. This allows the other parent to pick up where you left off, ensuring continuity and academic success.
Helping your children succeed with homework is a team effort, no matter your family dynamic. A little planning, communication, and consistency can go a long way.
Betty Richardson, PhD, RN, CS, LPC, LMFT, is an Austin-based psychotherapist.
