The word “holidays” conjures up thoughts of my favorite foods, nostalgic holiday movies and songs, time spent with family, cookie baking, decorating, gift wrapping, and… a heaping helping of heartburn. The dizzying pace of all I try to accomplish in a too-short amount of time can leave me feeling frazzled rather than centered and joyous. When you add in coordinating holiday plans with my similarly busy extended family,
I can feel downright Grinchy!
How can we parents bring holiday magic to our children, while also finding time to connect with cousins, grandparents, and good ‘ol Uncle Joe? Turns out, with a little forethought, it’s possible to spend meaningful time with everyone and enjoy the holidays! This year, try these tips for a more peaceful holiday season.
Hold a family meeting. As adults, we can experience things very differently from our kids. After my twins’ first trip to Walt Disney World, I asked my daughter to share her favorite part of the trip. I thought she might say it was when she met her idol, Minnie Mouse, or perhaps it would be the fun she had riding on Dumbo. Nope. It was the nonstop Mickey Mouse cartoons in the hotel room. Oof!
The same can be true for holiday activities. Find out which one activity is most important to each of your family members and make those the priority for the season. Next, here’s the harder part, let all the rest go. You could add some back in the next year if you truly missed them, but chances are, the relief you’ll feel by slowing your pace will more than make up for any twinge of regret. Your wallet might feel some relief, too.
Start early. Early as in today. Calendars in November and December fill up faster than my freezer after a Costco run. Think ahead about what you would like to do as a family and put those dates on your calendar. Then, figure out how your extended family will connect over the holidays and calendar those dates as well. As opportunities arise, having your “must-dos” written or saved ahead of time will help you decide what else to say “yes,” or maybe even “no” to.
Schedule downtime. Think of the holidays as a marathon, not a sprint. If you try to keep a sprinter’s pace, you’re going to exhaust yourself. Instead, intentionally schedule times to slow down – both for yourself and for your family. Perhaps that looks like a family holiday movie marathon day where no one is allowed to leave their jammies and dinner is ordered in, or it could be as simple as slipping out the door by yourself for a peaceful nighttime stroll to look at Christmas lights with hot cocoa. Your downtime doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate, it just needs to feel like downtime.
Keep it age appropriate. It’s likely that many of us can remember long, drawn out extended family dinners, complete with our best table manners and itchy tights or too tight collars. These types of formal family gatherings seldom inspire best behavior or fond memory-making in our children.
If your child is old enough, ask him how he would most like to connect with family. Maybe he loves baking cookies with grandma or would rather see a holiday movie to connect with the cousins instead of having a “boring” sit-down meal with the whole family. Knowing specifically what will be fun for your child will help you to narrow your focus, more easily schedule your plans, and stand the best shot at everyone having a good time.
If your child is younger, safeguard naptime when making your family plans and choose activities that allow for lots of movement. Having to sit for too long or becoming overtired is a recipe for disaster with little ones.
Expect the unexpected. When you’re trying to coordinate with multiple family members during the busy holiday season, the only thing guaranteed is that your plans are not guaranteed. Inevitably, someone will get sick, or someone will need to cancel an event. Try to stay positive and flexible. Maybe it’s easy enough to reschedule that activity or maybe it’s best to carry on with the rest of the family and give the absent person a call to express your love. Either way, if you have an expectation that something will change about your plans, you’ll be pleasantly surprised if nothing does, rather than thrown off course and possibly disappointed.
The bottom line is that the holidays don’t have to be a chaotic whirlwind of stress and to-do lists. We do that to ourselves. Instead, by embracing the season early and intentionally minimizing, slowing down, and rolling with the punches when plans change, we can make this year’s holidays an enjoyable time of peace, bonding, and fulfillment. Remember that, ultimately, the true magic of the season won’t be found in a perfect schedule of all the activities, but rather, in the simple moments of connection we will share with our cherished loved ones. Wishing everyone a more laid-back, joyful holiday season filled with laughter and love
Alison Bogle is a writer living in Austin with her husband and three children. A former fourth-grade teacher, she now enjoys writing about children and education. You can also catch her talking about articles from Austin Family magazine each Thursday morning on FOX 7 Austin.
