Q
My wife and I have three children, ages 6, 10, and 13. Their full schedules often keep us on the road, and they frequently ask to add more clubs, sports, or weekend events. I want to support their interests, but I also want to protect time for family. Sunday is the day I try to reserve, yet it already holds Sunday school, church, and youth groups, which leaves only a small window together. When a Saturday night campout is added, that window can disappear. I find myself wondering how to balance family time with outside activities and how much influence parents should have in guiding those choices.
A
You deserve credit for recognizing the importance of keeping your family connected. Although Sunday afternoons may be the most reliable option right now, meaningful time together can happen in many ways. Shared meals, movie nights, and even conversations during car rides can become valuable opportunities to check in. Supporting one another at games, concerts, or performances can also create moments of togetherness. Setting simple goals for these times, such as discussing what brings each person joy or what future dreams they imagine, can help deepen relationships and build trust.
Staying flexible is essential as your children grow and schedules evolve. Some weeks will naturally offer more open time than others, and that rhythm may continue to shift throughout the year. Rather than aiming for a perfect balance, focus on keeping family time intentional and consistent enough to matter. Emphasizing quality over quantity helps ensure that the time you do have feels restorative instead of rushed.
Each child’s capacity for activities differs based on temperament, motivation, and energy. Some children thrive when their schedules feel full and structured. Others need more downtime to recharge or concentrate on one or two commitments. Financial considerations, transportation demands, and the time you and your wife can reasonably devote also shape what is manageable for your household. Evaluating these factors together can make decisions feel more thoughtful and less reactive.
Carpooling is one practical way to lighten the load. Sharing transportation can ease stress, reduce the number of trips you make,
and give your children time with peers. Still, it is important to weigh whether pickup points are convenient or require significant detours that create new challenges.
Parents should guide activity choices by helping children build balance, confidence, and long-term skills. Many young people look toward competitive colleges, exchange programs, or advanced arts and music tracks. Encouraging volunteer work and a variety of enriching experiences helps them grow into well-rounded, resilient individuals. By supporting your children as they explore interests while also modeling healthy boundaries, you create a foundation that will benefit them well beyond childhood.
Betty Richardson, PhD, RN, CS, LPC, LMFT, is an Austin-based psychotherapist.
