Pregnancy on the Brain

Pregnancy on the Brain

One of my coworkers recently announced she is pregnant with her first. She told me her husband is skeptical about the mysterious and mythical Pregnancy Brain. Apparently she is, too, and I had to smile blandly as she said, “I’m already eight weeks and I don’t feel any...
Average Parties Are the Best Parties

Average Parties Are the Best Parties

I’m not sure when it started – this trend of over-the-top extravaganzas for children’s birthday parties. Probably around the same time Pinterest turned wedding planning into a torturous dark journey of the soul. But the trend seems here to stay. Kids’ birthday parties...
An Apology to My Younger Children

An Apology to My Younger Children

I know the importance of modeling behavior for my children. I try to emphasize values like environmentalism and minimalism by taking once-a-week showers and wearing the same pants for extended periods of time. In an effort to underscore the importance of...
Goodbye, Resolutions

Goodbye, Resolutions

You may have noticed a recent trend on social media was to post a photo collage of your family at their best, along with a word to define the coming year. You probably saw words like “Restore,” “Cultivate” and “Whole 30.” I prefer a more grounded route, with words...
Hoarders: Buried Alive in Paw Patrol

Hoarders: Buried Alive in Paw Patrol

There are moments early in your child’s life that will define your family — forever. Like the time I discovered the sinister genius of children’s toy manufacturers.   It started innocently enough. Our oldest had reached an age where he was remembering what he saw...
My Ultimate Guide to Holiday Cheer

My Ultimate Guide to Holiday Cheer

As a child, my holidays were a red and green blur of pure, unadulterated joy. As a young adult, I spent my holidays fielding questions about hairstyles and love interests. As a married adult, the holidays meant declaring a side of the family to spend Christmas Day...
Entering Survival Mode: Third Pregnancy

Entering Survival Mode: Third Pregnancy

“Do you feel different this time?” That’s the question I get most often from well-meaning strangers, as they steal a less-than-subtle glance at my baby bump, which is definitely NOT a baby bump. It’s just the result of gas and too many chips.   What a loaded...
My Clever New Magic Trick

My Clever New Magic Trick

That really old black-and-white horror film “The Invisible Man” has been on my mind lately. You see, my family and I recently embarked on a quick weekend trip. You know, to “get away from it all” and “relax.” And like most endeavors that involve taking toddlers out of...
Swim Diaper Blues

Swim Diaper Blues

The swim diaper seems like an ingenious invention for the modern parent. But is it? Let’s think about this. A swim diaper doesn’t absorb liquids like a regular diaper, which in water would swell to the size of a watermelon. Its purpose is to contain poop. It’s a poop...
When Toddler Takes Over

When Toddler Takes Over

The transition from babyhood to toddlerdom is a bit like watching someone experience spiritual possession. The pea-soup-spewing kind of possession, where everyone who survives an encounter with the individual feels both relieved and horrified.   What happened to...
Family Game Night Smackdown

Family Game Night Smackdown

I don’t believe it’s possible to truly judge a person’s character until you have seen them play a video game. Particularly, until you see them play against family members.   It’s a good way to test your own moral fiber. If you’re relatively comfortable playing...
The Great Mosquito Escape

The Great Mosquito Escape

I may still be considered a “young” mom (beginning to hear teenagers call me “ma’am”), but I’m old enough to remember a time before technology solved everything. In swampy Texas summers, all we had to keep mosquitos away was cancer spray or weak candles that smelled...
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