Valentine’s Day is near, which means all stay-at-home parents who watch daytime TV have something to look forward to: Valentine’s Day commercials. There is just something so American about watching the same ads every year, recycled with new actresses—the blond or brunette swooning over a giant box of butt-enlarging sugary treats or a bouquet of bubblegum pink daisies whose artificial coloring turns the vase water into liquid cotton candy. Who are they targeting?
Oh, the giant bouquet: it’s every mom’s dream, right? Because hooray! There is nothing we love more than the gift of floral life to add to the collection of little people we must try to keep alive.
And do not get me started on the chocolate, which we’re supposed to believe smoothes over anything. Put my favorite cast iron skillet in the dishwasher and leave it there overnight to form a constellation of rust stains? No problem, some chocolate will fix it. Forget to set up the gate on the stairs, allowing the dogs to mark their territory all over the guest bedroom? Golly gee, these chocolate truffles will make it all better. Clog the toilet and blame it on me when guests were over? A few Hershey kisses will make it all go away.
To top it all off, I know it is impossible for my husband to forget to shower me with sugar and floral arrangements, unless he is color-blind. Because every store in America turns a rosy shade of red as soon as we enter into the New Year. Basically, he has no excuse not to bring me home a life-size teddy bear complete with a singing telegram: “I wuuuuv you!”
So thank you, modern Mad Men, for getting me like no one else gets me. Especially now that I am a stay-at-home mom, I can relate more than ever to daytime TV commercials. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a full day ahead of me of ironing my multiple sets of Capri pants and cardigan sweaters.
Carrie Taylor is a native Texan, freelance writer and mother of one precious baby boy.