One of my coworkers recently announced she is pregnant with her first. She told me her husband is skeptical about the mysterious and mythical Pregnancy Brain. Apparently she is, too, and I had to smile blandly as she said, “I’m already eight weeks and I don’t feel any different!”
Oh my dear, but you will. Winter of the mind is coming.
Pregnancy brain means losing half of your vocabulary. Common phrases and words are the first to go. You’ll find yourself referring to every object as “that thing” and every person as “you know, that one.” Don’t be surprised if you gain a few new and unexpected words like “doohickey” or “whatchamacallit.” Some days it may just be easier to adopt a vow of silence.
Pregnancy brain means you are always looking for an item you misplaced. A good rule of thumb is thinking of how often you typically misplace your keys, phone, TV remote, etc., and multiply that by 10. I’m usually always looking for something, and you know, as long as it’s not one of my kids, I consider it a good day.
Pregnancy brain means forgetting to do things almost immediately after saying you will do them. Half of your days will be spent standing in the kitchen squinting around trying to remember why you got up in the first place.
Pregnancy brain means you finally have an out when you forget all of your friends’ and families’ birthdays, your anniversary, your own birthday, your partner’s birthday and your partner’s name.
If you think pregnancy brain ends after pregnancy, think again. (Or at least try.) It’s better to accept that your mind now resembles cottage cheese, but that’s OK. You’re creating children who will always love you, even when you call them by the dog’s name or by, “the one with the moles.”
Carrie Taylor is a freelance writer, editor and mother of two boys.