It’s that time of year again. Time for the dreaded list of resolutions for the new year – or as I like to call them, “good intentions.” Because let’s get real folks: that’s what they are, right? Things that we intend to do, but rarely accomplish. At least that’s how it is with me.

I took a look at my previous “intensions” and came to the conclusion that I really stink at follow-through. So this year, rather than challenge myself and work really hard at becoming a better person, I’m taking the easy route. I’m focusing on the small things. Besides, I have a new baby at home. Life with two little kids gives me a hall pass, doesn’t it? Just for one year? Please?

I’m steering clear of the dieting. That’s so 2013. Goodbye to my goal to reduce the foul language that comes out of my mouth every year. $@#%& that. And exercising more? I’ll exercise when I very well please, which will probably be never. But I’m okay with that.

So, after much thought, well, really just about five minutes, here’s my list of intentions for 2014:

1. Make it to work on time once a week. I told you I’m starting out easy. I’m that girl that frantically sprints into the office late with my fast food breakfast in tow, complaining about the traffic. In reality, I just woke up late, tried on 15 outfits (all of which are still on the floor of the closet) and then yelled at my kid for 20 minutes to get dressed and out the door for school.

2. Reduce the number of times I spill coffee grinds while trying to make coffee in the morning with only one eye open. I realize that making the coffee the night before would eliminate this issue, but that’s just asking too much.

3. Fill up my gas tank before I see the “zero miles left” light. If I only accomplish one thing for the year, this is the one that would make my father proud.

4. Sleep for 12 hours straight without interruptions from anyone. Just once.

5. Convince my son that Elf on the Shelf needs to move on to bigger and better things in life. I just can’t take it anymore. Have you seen Pinterest and Facebook during the month of December? The pressure is just too much!

There you have it. Short and sweet. I might be an overweight potty mouth in 2014, but if I can cross any of those off of my list at the end of the year, I’ll feel pretty good about myself.


Mimi Burleson lives in Georgetown with her husband and TWO young sons.

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