By Susana Fletcher
10 They have no respect for privacy.
Apparently they own every room in the house. There’s no where you can go to hide from them. Especially not the bathroom.
9 They don’t pitch in.
They don’t cook. They don’t do laundry. When is the last time someone else did the shopping around here? And they definitely don’t clean. Every time I read “The Cat in the Hat” I sigh longingly over the Pick-It-Up-Machine at the end of the book. You know, the car with the arms that picks up all the things that were down? The cake, the rake and the gown? Oh, if only.
8 They act like their parents own the place.
They don’t pay rent. And you can’t kick ‘em out. Freeloaders, I say.
7 They need a ride everywhere.
Dude, c’mon. That’s like 12 rides this week, and you haven’t given me gas money. Get your own car.
6 They’re always running late.
“We were supposed to leave 20 minutes ago!”
“But I can’t find my shoes.”
5 They bring their friends over all the time.
I’ve got three of these roommates, and they seem to multiply in the afternoons and on weekends. “We’re hungry; can you make us a snack?” “We’re bored.”
4 They are totally inappropriate.
They walk around with no clothes on. They can’t control their bodily functions.
3 They monopolize the television.
Each morning, I thank the Heavens that my kids are too old to be obsessed with “Frozen.” But if I have to watch another episode of “Kickin’ It” or “Hey Jesse” I might go ape. And for those of you stuck in the Frozen wasteland, and just might commit yourself to the mental hospital over “Let It Go,” consider this: My kids were obsessed with “The Wiggles” when they were little. “Toot toot chugga chugga big red car.” It could be worse.
2 They borrow things. Then lose them.
“Where are my keys?”
“I know where they are. Josey was playing with them!”
“Josey, where did you put my keys?”
“I don’t bemember.”
1 They don’t party after 9 p.m.
‘Nuff said. I’m putting out an ad tomorrow.