Before becoming a parent, I was one of those people who arrived just on time for events and appointments. If I was five minutes early, there were celebrations to be had. Now that I am a parent of two…if I am five minutes early, it’s because I forgot one of the kids at home and the other isn’t wearing underwear.
The reality is, it’s just tough getting out of the house with little people who become emotionally distressed at the smallest disturbance and who move at the speed of a tired mom’s end-of-day hot shower.
Here are the top reasons why I’ve been late this past week, and will continue to be late for another 17 or so years of my life:
- The toddler doesn’t like the shoes that were chosen for him, and he insists on wearing a pair that ties. Whoever invented toddler shoes that tie is a hateful, hateful person. Oh, and the pair that ties is also a year old and requires extra thin socks to actually fit. Then the hunt for the extra-thin socks ensues, but it has to be the blue pair of extra-thin socks and not the white pair.
- The baby poops. Were babies hardwired with a sense of when adults are urgently trying to get somewhere, and it triggers a massive bowel movement? Either that or they have impeccable timing. It never fails – I’ll be walking out the door, scoop up baby, and then the smell hits me. Boom – five minutes later than we already were.
- Eating breakfast becomes a battle. Please, heavenly baby Lord Jesus, please make my child eat faster than a bite every five minutes. Even days when we start the morning off on time can be ruined by a 30-minute breakfast.
By Carrie Taylor a freelance writer, editor and mother of two boys.